Eleven Times
by simplyjennxD
Summary: She had no idea what those teddy bears meant until it was too late. x:roxiné:x


**Note: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY A SOKAI.**

**But I've been having these urges and sudden attraction for Namixas lately. Funny.**

**Sighs, whatever. Not a happy one-shot anyways. Haha.**

**Enjoy?**

**Disclaimer: KH-COM was pretty retarded && pointless, no offense.  


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**e**_l_e**v**_e_n **t**_i_m**e**_s_

- _She had no idea what those teddy bears meant until it was too late _-

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"No", she said, turning away from his shocked and begging face. It pained her that they had to end this way, but she couldn't take it anymore. It was too late. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of wanting, I'm tired of being paranoid, I'm tired! I can't stand any of this anymore!"

If there were three words she ever wanted to hear from someone, it would have been "I", "love", and "you" from that blonde haired boy with soft blue eyes.

It wasn't even that they were just on the friendship level; they were already way above that in the love scale. In fact, they had been going out for eleven months already. And not once had he said a single "I love you" to her. Ever.

Sometimes she wondered if their relationship was based purely on lust and not love like she always thought it was. Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one in love with him and he was just going out with her because he felt _sorry_ for her. Either way, it was getting on her nerves.

Instead of those three simple words she wanted to hear, he always gave her teddy bears instead. Soon, she started to grow a collection of these brown velvety stuffed animals. She already had _ten _already; and she was getting sick of it. Instead of spending his money on teddy bears, she would have much rather preferred hearing those desired three words coming out of his cherry red lips. But he never did.

"Naminé, it's not like that…" he tried to reassure the near-to-tears blonde in front of him. But she refused to answer, as she closed her eyes and blocked out her ears.

"I've waited, and I've waited…a year now…" she softly told him, refusing to look at him in the eye. "Take this teddy bear back, I've had enough of them. I'm sick of them. No, by now, I _despise_ them."

"Naminé, I…" he tried once again to explain, but she shoved the stuffed velvet brown bear back at him and refused to hear his explanation.

"No, Roxas…" she told him, tears fully running down her face now. "Do you honestly think it's teddy bears that I want? It's been 356 days now…365 days that we've been going out…and not once…not once have you ever told me you loved me. I can't stand being paranoid like this-- I always think you don't love me enough, I always think there's something wrong with me, something."

"It's not like that!" he quickly disagreed.

"Then fine. I'm giving you one chance…" the blonde girl with deep blue eyes told the boy she loved deeply in front of her. "Look at me in the eye and tell me that you love me…now."

"I…I…" the spiky haired blonde boy tried to say, but no words would come out, as his voice went dry and he started to sweat.

"I didn't think so." she told him, turning her back at him as she started to walk away from him and his anniversary present- a life-sized teddy bear. As she walked away, tears fully ran down her tears and quickly dried up as she decided she couldn't wait for him forever.

_She had no idea what those teddy bears meant until it was too late._

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_Ding. Dong. _

"Who is it now…?" the pale girl with charming blue eyes murmured, as she scrambled to answer the door. She slowly opened the door, to find a pair of curious eyes looking up at her.

"Are you Naminé Monome?" the mysterious man in front of her asked, as he squinted his emerald eyes at her. She could now see him fully- he was wearing a blue uniform with a badge on the right side of his chest.

_A police officer. _

"Y…yes?" she stuttered, raising her eyebrow at him. It had been a month before she last drove while she was drunk.

"We're here because of the death of Roxas Tetsuya? Does his name sound familiar at all?"

Her face turned paler than it already was, her lips started to tremble, and her eyes began to water.

_This wasn't happening. _

"What…what do you mean dead?!" she asked him, looking at him unbelievingly. "Don't lie to me! Roxas is _not_ dead!"

The police officer looked at her in sympathy before replying, "I'm sorry."

Naminé felt her legs wobble, as she fought the need to collapse.

"Stop…stop lying to me." she begged him, tears streaming down her face. She looked at him with her begging bright blue eyes as she urged him to tell her that everything he just told her was a lie. But he told her the complete opposite.

"I'm sorry for your lost, but he committed suicide yesterday right before midnight…he drove right into a tree- nothing survived. He did, however, leave one thing behind…" the police officer told her, as he pulled out a familiar stuffed animal.

_The anniversary teddy bear. _

She took the stuffed animal, tears fully rolling down as she dropped down to the floor. Her fragile legs could no longer support her. The feeling in her heart was too great; too heavy for her to be able to lift up.

"It was addressed to you…he wanted you to have it no matter what…" the police officer told the crying girl in front of him, as he looked away in guilt. Informing family and friends about someone's death was so _not _a job for him. He slowly walked away, unwilling to watch the poor girl in pain.

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"I'm so sorry Roxas!" Naminé cried, clutching onto the bear tightly. She was now alone in her room, apologizing for what seemed the umpteenth time. "I'm so sorry!" She took the bear and started to hug it even tighter.

"_Naminé!" _

The petite girl looking immediately looked up

This was Roxas' voice. But from where? _Was she going delusional_?

"_I'm sorry I never get to tell you this in person…but it's because I'm so freaking damned nervous. Every time I see you, my mouth goes dry and I lose words to say. Every time I try, I lose the courage like an idiot that I am…so I'll expressed it through these teddy bears. Although I never tell you in person, I love you too and happy anniversary. I hope we'll be together forever." _

It was the teddy bear who spoke.

Naminé widened her eyes, as her teardrops splashed onto the velvet cloth of the teddy bear. She pressed the teddy bear once again, as she heard the same message over.

Her heart thumping, her feelings racing, she started to take out every single teddy bear he had ever given her in the past year they had been going out- all ten of them. She started to squeeze every single teddy bear; suddenly everything started to make sense.

Bear 1- "_Wow. This bear will determine whether or not you will accept my feelings…I'm pretty nervous, haha. I hope you do say yes when I ask you out though…all I know is that I really, really love you. Cliché, aren't I? Ha…ha…" _

Bear 2- _"Wow, it's already Christmas!!! Happy holidays, and have a amazing weekend! Don't ever forget that I love you." _

Bear 3- _"Whoot! You're turning sixteen today! All hyped up for that driver's permit you want so badly? Hopefully you'll past the test, but with your clumsiness…I can't be too sure! Haha, just kidding. Love you!" _

Bear 4- _"Valentine's day! The day to express my love to you- I know, I know. You probably want me to tell you that I love you right to your face. I just can't seem to do that yet, though! I hate how nervous this is making me…ugh. At least these teddy bears will express what I'm trying to tell you, right? I LOVE YOU NAMINE!" _

Bear 5_- "Sometimes I wonder if you ever got the messages in these teddy bears- you never seem to talk about it. If you didn't, it's okay. Either way, you probably know by now that I love you to death. Thanks for accepting for who I am. I promise one day, I'll tell you I love you. I promise. Just wait a little longer, okay? Oh, by the way, happy April Fool's Day!" _

Bear 6- _"It's almost the end of school now- I just wanted to congratulate you for surviving Junior year! Whew. I laugh when I think about the times we spent at Starbucks studying together- remember they threatened to kick us out if we didn't leave or buy another cappuccino? I still laugh when I think about how red your face became and how you started yelling at them that you were the customer. I love you so much! Once again, congrats of conquering another school year!" _

Bear 7- _"You asked me online on aim today why I never told you that I love you to your face and why I only said it online or in letters. I didn't reply simply because I really didn't know what to say…if I said I was too nervous, I was afraid you might ditch me for being such a coward. Ha, what a loser I am. Bleh. I guess you really don't get these messages, do you? I wish you'd just know, I really do love you!" _

Bear 8- _"I can't make a long message today because I'm going on to Aruba (…) in a few days and I have to pack up. I'll miss you the whole time I'm there and all my thoughts will be of you solely! Just know that I love you, and hopefully I'll see in about a week after I go there!"_

Bear 9- _"We had a big argument, and I know this lame teddy bear isn't going to solve the fact that I said some mean things to you today. But I just want you to know that I didn't mean what I said. I was just a little mad because you're always drinking and then driving and it really bothers me. I'm afraid you're going to get hurt or in an accident, and I don't think I could survive if anything happened to you. I love you so much…I just hope you know that. I'm probably going to call you right and beg for forgiveness after I record this anyways. Sometimes I wonder why I spend my time on recording these things…haha. I guess it's because I can express my feelings a lot better like this?" _

Bear 10- _"Goodness, Naminé! Recording my voice and putting it into these teddy bears aren't easy you know! I wish you'd get these messages already you slow person! Haha. When you finally realize that they're here, you better run into my arms, hug me, and tell me that you love me- how much teddy bears did I give you so far? Oh yeah!- ten times back! Haha, I shall be waiting. I love you!" _

Tears were now steaming down the white girl's face, as she held onto the eleven teddy bears as they were more precious than life. He had told her eleven times that he had loved her, and she didn't hear it until now.

_She had no idea what those teddy bears meant until it was too late. _

Thoughts of guilt ran through her head- she was the one who pressured him into committing suicide. She was such a selfish, blunt, person with no consideration. Tears would not stop, as she thought about how she could never be able to talk to him again.

_Unless… _

She slowly took out the metallic razor blade she had on the top of her drawer and admired it's painful beauty. So slim, so efficient it was…

She slowly started to slit her veins and grinned as she continued to tear the line of life from her body.

_She had no idea what those teddy bears meant until it was too late. _

But now she decided to change her fate and _make_ it not too late. She would meet him again, not matter what, in however form.

And then she'll tell him it's okay now; it's okay and she understands. And that she'll wait for him no matter what. And she won't pressure him. And she was here to stay; never to leave him in the cold again. And that she forgave him for everything. And to ask him to forgive her for her selfishness.

And just like he hoped, they would be together forever.

_And most of all, she was going to run into his arms and tell him that she loves him too ten times repeatedly. No...__eleven times now_.

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**Author's Note: I'm tired, so this was written really crappy.  
Tell me if there are errors, okay?**

**I think short one-shots are better than long ones most of the time. Right? (MOST of the time; there are exceptions from one person! xD)****So here, I wrote a short one.  
I hope it didn't suck too bad.**

**Okay, it's really late now and I want to sleep so bad.  
I just needed to write this though, I had a sudden big urge.**

**Please review. It means a lot.  
Like no lie, it really does.**

**LOVEYOUS.**

**_- simplyjennxD_**


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